#JustAskLo: How Do I Stop Comparing Myself to My Friends?

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Welcome to today's episode of #JustAskLo, pals! Remember, if you have an advice question you can submit them right here and I may answer it on an upcoming show. I really appreciate the support and the subscribes, so if you're just checking me out for the first time, I hope you get down with what I'm giving out! Today I'm talking about friendship - the women who wrote in asking for help having questions regarding people in their lives they're worried about, and people in their lives that make them feel inferior, and friends that are so beautiful that it's driving one woman a little cuckoo. Dive right into the questions below (edited for clarity and length) and the video at the bottom of this post!


My best friend of 13 years is married to a man (5 years now) who makes all her decisions and railroads her at every corner. She always wanted to be with a wealthy guy who could give her the world and she found it in him, but he's a complete jerk to her and love is blind. She had her wish list for a house and the one they bought had not one thing on her list, but everything on his. Same scenario with a new car they bought: she wanted one brand but they of course left with another. 

I see the strong, opinionated, self-sufficient girl I've known for years slowly die and this shell of a woman replacing her. She married for money and I married for love and it breaks my heart to see how broken she is. No idea how to give her a hint here and there to stand up to her husband.

-Katie


My question has to do with self-confidence and acceptance of where I am in this particular point in my life in comparison to my friends. To put it simply, I feel like a total loser right now. I just turned 30 and am currently living at home because I'm in graduate school and can't afford my own place yet. I feel like I am behind everyone that is my age, or even younger than me. My friends are basically all married, having kids, or buying their own homes and I literally feel so far from that.

I recently went through the worst depressive episode I've ever experienced and deal with anxiety on a daily basis. I feel like my life is a waiting game. I hate answering people when they ask me "so, what do you do?" and "where are you living these days?" I just want to start working and get my life going, but until that happens, I feel really embarrassed about living at home and that I don't have a serious job. I'm so embarrassed with letting someone know the real me right now that I turn everyone who is interested down.

I just want to be happy again and enjoy things again. How should I navigate this weird period in my life?

-Kathryn


 

I am 31 years old, living in The Netherlands and am happily married to the most wonderful (and handsome!) man in the world. I have a really nice job as an Account Manager in fashion, so overall I am very happy. The problem I find I have is that it's difficult to appreciate myself. I work with, and always have really beautiful girls around me. I feel fat and ugly compared to them all the time.

I ask them what they eat, how much they exercise, what their weight is, and where they shop so that I can be a little more like them instead of looking at myself and accepting that I'm not a size zero and may not be the prettiest or most fashionable girl in my group.

I'd like some advice on how to feel happier with myself, and not throw away the most beautiful years of my life due to insecurities. This problem is affecting my life badly everyday. Help!

-Anonymous