Is It Time to Say Goodbye?

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"We'll be friends forever won't we, Pooh?" asked Piglet.

Forming relationships is a part of growing up. Whether it our childhood, our college years, or our working days, we are constantly meeting new people and making new friends.

While many of us hold on tight to a core group of best buds from grade school, if not birth, a lot of us actually form even tighter bonds with new people as we go through the process of discovering who we are and what we need.

Unlike family connections, friendships are formed between two individuals or a group of like-minded people who have common interests, a mutual sense of humor, and an appreciation for each other’s company. While some friendships are initially forced through family friends or neighbors, it is important to remember that we’re always in a position to choose how far we’d like to develop those connections. In similar light, many of us will discover both the strength and loyalty of bonds, and the appropriate time to let them go.

I am personally a very social person who makes friends quite easily. Although I have a large group of supportive women who surround me, I also have friendships that have fizzled out or ended because of a “break up.” After reflecting with my mom and analyzing those relationships, I’ve learned that not all my gals are “ride or die.” And, that’s perfectly okay!

Here are three telltale signs your friendship is ending.

[divider]Take a deep breath! You will be fine.[/divider]

1. Your Expectations Aren't Being Met

When a relationship organically blossoms into a friendship, a contract is subconsciously and or consciously formed. In that respect, it is easy to get hurt in both platonic and romantic relationships when our expectations are not met.

Because not everyone values friendship in the same way, it is vital you assess what you need and what you expect. If you find yourself being let down regularly by a certain individual, it may be time to let that relationship sail.

2. When You're Giving More Than You're Receiving

Despite the saying, “giving is better than receiving,” the statement only holds true when your friend advocates for the same motto. Friendship is just as much about receiving support as it is giving it.

Being the designated go-to girl is exhausting, especially when that friend is incapable of reciprocating the favor. If you find yourself screening calls and stalling on responses, it may be time to re-evaluate your relationship.

I am by no means saying you should bounce if your friend, who’s going through a divorce, feels the need to discuss the ins and outs of her troubles over and over again. I’m just simply reminding you to be mindful of your own needs. Exhaustion is a good sign to redefine and set boundaries.

3. When You're No Longer "Twins"

We all grow as individuals with time and experience. While some of us have dear childhood friends, it is also normal for us to go our separate paths. Whether it attending different colleges or moving to different cities, we all mature as a result and previous friendships may shift and dwindle.

I, unfortunately, don't share much in common with some of my oldest friends. While we had a long list of similarities growing up and were at time the Olsen twins, life goes on and those friendships change.

 

Check back next week as I discuss how to approach a friendship breakup with maturity!